沟通的艺术NJPresentation.ppt

Written Joanne And then finally, we have written communication which is the least believable, but the most clear, because it Does provide a record for referral and follow‐up And it is an inexpensive way of providing the same messages to a large number of people But, the limitation is that the sender does not know how or if the communication is received unless a response of some kind is required These three methods of communication, allows us to communicate differently depending on who we are communicating with, where we are communicating, and the priority we place on the communication. So now Tom and I would like to share some of the lessons we have learned in our personal life together, so that hopefully you can avoid making them in your own lives. * SARCASM Tom – The first lesson I had to learn was about sarcasm, in your language this is Feng Ci (fung chui). Did I say that right? This is humor at someone else’s expense – we sometimes say it is humor that cuts – it has an edge like a knife. This was a big problem when Joanne I were first married. I would make jokes that I thought were pretty funny, but she didn’t, because they hurt her feelings. But then Joanne had an idea. Joanne – It occurred to me that if one of us said something that hurt the other’s feelings, the person who said it would have to put a quarter (about one RMB) into a little box. I thought this way Tom would have an idea just how many times he said something that hurt my feelings. Unfortunately, I was the first one to put the quarter in the box. Tom – And there was no appeal with this. When the person said “That hurt my feelings” it didn’t matter whether the person who said it MEANT to hurt their feelings or not – it did, so in went the quarter – we call this Mutual Submission. Unspoken Expectations Tom – The second one is Unspoken Expectations or assumptions. These are things that aren’t communicated at all – one person just thinks the other person should KNOW it (whate