1504-11-Relationships.ppt-iSites.ppt

Attracting Love Believe in Love Beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies Opening up to opportunities (Wiseman, 2003) “Lucky people create, notice, and act upon the chance opportunities in their lives.” Richard Wiseman Throwing the knapsack (words create worlds) “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would not otherwise have occurred.” W.H. Murray Cultivate Self Love The Golden Rule “The Tibetan term for caring or compassion, tsewa, includes both self and others.” Dalai Lama “To say ‘I love you’ one must know first how to say the ‘I’” Ayn Rand Self verification theory (Swann, 1983) Cultivate Self Love Don’t wait! “The first love affair we must consummate successfully is the love affair with ourselves... To enjoy our own being, to be happy in a profound sense with who we are, to experience the self as worthy of being valued and loved by others—this is the first requirement for the growth of romantic love.” Nathaniel Branden Courage Learn to fail or fail to learn Integrity (be yourself) Just do it “Courage is not about not having fear; it is about having fear and going ahead anyway.” Bem, D. J. (1996). Exotic Becomes Erotic: A Developmental Theory of Sexual Orientation. Psychological Review, 103 (2), 320-335) Branden, N. (1985). The Psychology of Romantic Love. Bantam Fraley, R. C. Shaver, P. R. (2000). Adult Romantic Attachment: Theoretical Developments, Emerging Controversies, and Unanswered Questions. Review of General Psychology, 4 (2), 132-154. Gottman, J. M. (2000). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. Three Rivers Press. Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G. (1997). A leap of faith? Positive illusions in romantic relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 586-604. Schnarch, D. (1998). Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed R