Chapter14-ListeningToTheSilences.doc

Seek the beginnings Learn from whence you came And the various earths of which you are made. Edwin Muir Je suis mois même la matière de mon livre In the same way that sixteenth century philosopher, Michel de Montaigne could assert that he himself was the ‘material’ of his book of Essays, so, on reflection, have I myself become the core of mine. When I began to write I had no intention of writing a book – such an idea would have stopped me in my tracks. As with many journeys of exploration, a few tentative excursions revealed territory that invited further examination, and with the examination and exploration courage grew, fuelled by the encouragement that I received from friends. Filled with this new audacity, and inspired by the view that I began to perceive, namely that of ultimate publication, I have gone on and on, arriving at this, which I hope will be my last chapter. At the very outset, the first words that I wrote were “I am one of the people least likely to write anything remotely autobiographical…”, and yet everything, yes everything, is just that. Beginning with descriptions of actual real time happenings, the words have accumulated, and just like a Christmas tree being dressed with care, they form the ‘presents’ and ‘gifts’ hanging from it, and that have come from the squirrel store of my garnered lifetime experiences and my understanding of these events. These presents and gifts are there for anyone to take and to use, either for their own benefit or that of others. Even though I have given all that I could from myself, strangely I do not feel diminished, but paradoxically I feel enhanced by the hope that some will find encouragement and incentive. Perhaps the most intriguing aspect of the self analysis and personal revelation is that, apart from incidents and events that were played out in public situations, by far the greatest bulk of my writing relates to what was going on in my mind. Thoughts and self analysi