英语搞笑短剧剧--三打白骨精本(DIY版本).doc

三打白骨精 Three Times’ Beating Monster 人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧 B：白骨精B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成老头 T:阿弥陀佛,do you know where we are now? S:,map! E: (摸出，递给S) S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E） T: !How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls! E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回) T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But…… T: 阿弥陀佛,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?（色即是空，空即是色） E: (递)Here.Em…we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So. S: Fat Pig! E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will…S: You will what(凶相)? E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤). S: Hm!T:（轻咳）,factually,I am a bit hungry .Could you go to get me some food? E: You see , boss is hungry,too! T: 八戒!Don’t forget who ate my last meal! J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away….. T: Em…….It is a problem.悟空,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看） J: This is…..? S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it! T: Em…, you are becoming more and more scientific! 阿弥陀佛, knowledge is power! S: Bye!(走) T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1) B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you? J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough. B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb! T: Bomb?(打出) B1: Double King! T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门) S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打) B1: （倒)Ah…… E:How beautiful a girlJ:You can’t,you can’t ,whatever he did,he is our big brother;don’t be sad ,there are more beautiful girls waiting for you on our way to the west T: (气愤)! Look what have you done! She is my teacher! S: She is a monster! T: Nonsense!(深呼吸) S: Oh,please don’t…… T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱) S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头) T: (呛住，咳),I’m disappointed with you! B: (真身