[英语课前五分钟幽默1.doc

1. are you going to treat me? ??? an american actress came to china for the first time. one day when she was looking for her new chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious chinese who had always wanted to practice his english with native speakers, but had never found the chance. when he saw the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice. ??? “how old are you?” ??? “i’m sorry. please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily. ??? “how much do you earn each month?” the chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook. ??? “sorry again. we don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer. ??? “have you had lunch?” the chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting. ??? “no, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise. ?? ? 你要请客吗？ ??? 有位美国女演员首次来中国演出，有一天演出结束后在找她的中国朋友时，碰见一位总想与老外练讲英语的中国人，可惜他一直没有这样的机会。当看到这位女演员时，他走上前去互相问候，接着便练起英语来。 ??? “你多大啦？” ??? “对不起，请不要问女士的年龄，”演员感到很不自在。 ??? “你每月挣多少钱？”中国人极力回忆着教科书上的句子。 ??? “对不起，我们也不愿意把这事告诉给人家。”她再次拒绝了对方。 ??? “你吃过饭了吗？” 中国人再次用本民族的传方式询问对方。 ??? “没有，你要请我吃饭吗？”她惊喜地问。 2. busy with appointments two friends meet in the street when the following conversation takes place. jane: “long time no see,what have you been doing these days?” mary: “well, you know, i have so many appointments with my doctor these days.” jane: “what’s wrong with you?” ?mary: “nothing wrong with me physically. the doctor is my fiancée.” ?????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ? ? 忙于约会 ??????? 两个朋友在街上见面后说了下面这段话。 ??? 珍妮：“最近没有见到您，忙什么呢？” ??? 玛丽：“哦，您知道，我最近一直在忙着看医生。” ??? 珍妮：“您患了什么病？” ??? 玛丽：“我的身体没患任何病，医生是我未婚夫。” 3. more intelligent in dreams ??? when a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. ??? “i remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being i’ve forgotten it. what can that mean?” ??? “it means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake.” the teach