[法庭上的笑话.doc

周末娱乐：法庭上的笑话网友Cartman投递了一封邮件给我，内容是关于法庭上的笑话。 These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, Where am I, Cathy?ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ ; ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?WITNESS: We both do.ATTORNEY: Voodoo?WITNESS: We do.ATTORNEY: You do?WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isnt it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesnt know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: Hes twenty, much like your IQ._______________ ____________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: getting laid____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?WITNESS: Yes.ATT