Divorce and Remarriage University of Missouri 离婚和再婚密苏里堪萨斯大学.pptVIP

Kim Allen, PhD Poor communication Financial problems A lack of commitment to the marriage A dramatic change in priorities Infidelity Failed expectations or unmet needs Addictions and substance abuse Physical, sexual or emotional abuse Lack of conflict resolution skills The legal divorce — The emotional divorce — The economic divorce — The co-parental divorce — The community divorce — Published aul Bohannan (1970), Set aside time to meet as a family Plan ahead of time what to tell children Stay calm Plan to meet again 1. Avoid criticizing the other parent in front of the children. 2. Avoid arguing in front of the children—discuss co-parenting issues when children are not present. 3. Plan how pick-up drop-off will take place and follow the plan, but be willing to change the plan if needed. 4. Reassure children that conflict and divorce are not their fault. 1. Avoid using the child as a messenger—discuss parenting and financial issues directly. 2. Have a plan for dealing with the child’s unexpected expenses. 3. Avoid discussing child support issues with children. 4. Update the parenting plan as children’s needs change. 1. You will not be replaced if you stay involved in your child’s life. 2. Avoid asking questions that make children feel like spies. 3. Avoid using parenting time as leverage or a way to try to control the other parent. 4. Consider what role potential new partners should have in the lives of your children before bringing a new partner into the child’s life. 1. Make time for yourself when children are with the other parent. 2. Transitioning between households is stressful for children. A routine with built-in “down time” helps. 3. Differences between households are to be expected. It is impossible to control what happens in the other parent’s household. 4. Children need to feel loved and have consistent routines and responsibilities in each household. Clear, non defensive communication Use I stateme