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Submitted by Corey Paulson Save a tree, wipe your ass on a spotted owl!
I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27.Clement Atlee
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love. Mildred B. Vermont.
Base eight is just like base ten really, if youre missing two fingers.Tom Lehrer
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.Woody Allen
When I die Im going to leave my body to science fiction. Steven Wright
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
I bought an audio cleaning tape. Im a big fan of theirs.Kevin Gildea.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
Any political party that includes the word democratic in its name, isnt. Patrick Murray.
Its better to be looked over than overlooked.Mae West
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.Spike Milligan
We are the people our parents warned us about.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.George Burns
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one Ive never tried before. Mae West
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.George Burns
There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those who know ternary, those who dont and those who confuse it with binary.unknown
An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination. Voltaire.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said o.Woody Allen
Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children. Dan Quayle 18/9/90
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.Woody Allen
Never have more children than you have car windows.Erma Bombeck
Sarah
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