人大附中高三月考写作讲评.ppt

10月6日月考 作文讲评 Evaluation only. Created with Aspose.Slides for .NET 3.5 Client Profile 5.2.0.0. Copyright 2004-2011 Aspose Pty Ltd. 情景作文（2010届东城一模） 假设你是李华，光明中学的学生。 国庆期间你参加了社区居委会组织的社区服务活动。请你按照图片顺序，以“Community Service”为题，向学校英文校刊投稿，介绍这次活动情况。 注意： 1．文章开头已为你写好 2．词数不少于60 3．参考词汇：sports facilities体育设施 Evaluation only. Created with Aspose.Slides for .NET 3.5 Client Profile 5.2.0.0. Copyright 2004-2011 Aspose Pty Ltd. 国庆快乐 Evaluation only. Created with Aspose.Slides for .NET 3.5 Client Profile 5.2.0.0. Copyright 2004-2011 Aspose Pty Ltd. 审题 一、审文字 文体：记叙文 结构：第一段：背景已给 第二段：叙述完整的活动过程 第三段：抒发感受、感想等 时态：叙事：一般过去时 感想：一般现在时 人称：I/we 标题：Community Service 提示词：sports facilities Evaluation only. Created with Aspose.Slides for .NET 3.5 Client Profile 5.2.0.0. Copyright 2004-2011 Aspose Pty Ltd. 图片要点 P1： 慰问孤寡老人 P2： 清洁健身器材 P3： 捡拾社区垃圾 P4： 扮靓社区 必要细节 看望孤寡老人 和老人聊天 打扫老人房间（扫地、擦门窗桌椅） 小区健身中心 清洁健身器材 大家分散捡拾在路上和草地里拾垃圾 挂“国庆快乐”横幅 装扮宣传橱窗，张贴祝福标语等 添加细节 室内明窗几静 老人很欣慰 不怕脏和累，尽管疲劳但很开心 环境焕然一新 做社区的主人环保意识提高 节日祝福 活动圆满结束 得到锻炼 Evaluation only. Created with Aspose.Slides for .NET 3.5 Client Profile 5.2.0.0. Copyright 2004-2011 Aspose Pty Ltd. 特别提醒 1、12分以下： ①少感受，结构不完整 ②叙事段时态错误（一般现在时） ③少必要细节。 如图1：孤寡老人、打扫卫生应具体到一项 图4：横幅“国庆快乐”等 2、分黑色签字笔扣5分 3、没有自然分段扣2分 4、字数不够或超出指定范围视情况而定扣分 Evaluation only. Created with Aspose.Slides for .NET 3.5 Client Profile 5.2.0.0. Copyright 2004-2011 Aspose Pty Ltd. Sample： Community Service During the winter vacation, the students in our class joined in a meaningful activity in which all of us did our bit for the community. First we went to visit an old lady who lived all alone. While we were in her home, one of us chatted with her and the rest helped do a thorough cleaning. We swept the floor and dusted the table. When the work was done, the house looked really neat and tidy then we went to the sports center, where different sports facilities needed polishing. We set out to work at once. In no time