恋爱必修课之分手：如何抚慰一颗受伤的心.doc

恋爱必修课之分手：如何抚慰一颗受伤的心 Break-ups are never easy. Whether you were “just dating” or married, with or without kids, it hurts when a relationship ends. To spend time grieving is perfectly natural and healthy but there comes a time when your heart?yearns?to be healed. 分手从来就不是一件容易的事。不论你只是约约会或是已经结了婚，也不论有没有孩子，当一段关系结束的时候，它总是伤人的。为了结束的感情难过这很正常，但这时也是你的心灵需要治愈的时候。 The following 5 steps can help you begin down that path of healing. 以下5个步骤帮助你开始这条愈合之路。 1. It’s Not About You—Really, It’s Not 不是你的问题，真的不是你的错 You know that old saying “it’s not you, it’s me”? While we usually think of it as a cop-out, a way for someone to spare our feelings, the reality is that it is actually true. People act in a certain way, make certain decisions, and choose to life their life a certain way because of their own desires and needs; not because of us. 你知道那句古话“不是你的错，是我的错”吗？通常我们认为这种说法是一种逃避，也是一种舒缓我们感受的方式，而事实上这说法确实是对的。人们以特定的方式表现，做出特定的决定，选择他们想要的方式生活，因为他们有自己的欲望和需要，而不是因为我们！ When someone is a jerk, or says something?nasty, or leaves you, it is because of something going on inside of them. Please know that I am not excluding the influence of your own behavior that may have?precipitated?the break-up, but it comes down to the fact that your ex left because of their reactions and feelings surrounding that event and it may have been the right choice for them. 当某人变成了个混蛋，说了难听的话，或是离开了你，那是因为他们内心起了变化。请明白我不是要排除你自己行为带来的影响，这些行为可能也触发了分手的发生，但事实可以归结为你的前任离开你是因为他们对待事情的反应和感受有了变化，而这样做对他们来说也许是一个正确的选择。 Once a relationship ends, you can’t go back and change things no matter how much you want to, so it’s best to stop beating yourself up about the past. Forgive yourself for your part in the break up, learn lessons from it, and try not to take it personally. Realize that you are perfect just the way you are and there is someone out there who will agree. 当一段关系结束，无论你有多想，你都回不去了，也改变不了任何事，所以关于过去，最好就是停止自责。宽容自己，从中吸取教训，尽量不要独自忍受痛苦。要知道以自己的方式做，你就是完美的，总有一个人会欣赏你这样的方式。 2. This Too Shall Pass 这一切都会过去 I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but the pain will