作文评分及修改.docVIP

Nowadays,as the development of the economics , many people have private cars. There is no doubt that cars have a lot of advantages.For example,it can save a lot of time and it is also a symbol of status. Every coin have two sides.As we all know,cars also have many disadvatages.Most cars need petrol to start,and it is a waste of energy.Cars also can pollute the environment and do harm to our health. In my opinion,we should try our best to take buses or bikes instead of driving cars.Only by this way can we have a pure environment. 分数/满分： 22/30 Nowadays, as（把”as”改成介词”with”。as作“随着……”的时候是连词，应该接从句） the development of the economics（改成”economy”。”economics”是指经济学，说国家经济则应该用”economy”）, many people have（这个have语法上没错，但是我倾向于用”start to own their private cars”。因为前面表达了“随着经济的发展”这么一个过程，主句的语义表述也应该展现一个过程） private cars. There is no doubt that cars have a lot of advantages. For example, it can save a lot of time (save这个动词的主语一般来说是人。所以可以改成it can help us to save…?? ) and it is also a symbol of status. Every coin have（改成”has”，记住动词的用法要和主语相对应哦~）two sides.As we all know, cars also have many disadvatages（disadvantages）. Most cars need petrol to start, and it is a waste of energy. Cars also can（改成”can also”。also”是副词，应该放在助动词后面和实意动词前面） pollute the environment and do harm to our health. In my opinion, we should try our best to take buses(这里用public transportation比较好。地铁和城铁都属于公交系统而且污染很小) or bikes instead of driving cars. Only by this way（改成by doing this/ in this way） can we have a pure environment. （嗯~用了倒装呢~很好！记住哦，特殊句式在各种考试里面都是非常加分的！） 总结：文章思路还是很清晰的。正反两方面的意见都考虑到了。但是用词的准确性上还是有进步空间的。很多时候不是同学们不会写，是写不准，然后就丢分了。一定要小心！ Today we can see cars everywhere.More and more people have cars.Our lifes have changed that its more science and technology. In the one hand,cars have many advantages.It can makes us more convenient.We can drive it where we want to go.It can save times so that we dont have waiting bus.We dont have unbrella or raincoat when rainning.Cars help us very much. In the other hand,cars make accide