WhenIwasinmy20sted演讲文稿.doc

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex. 记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性，26岁。 Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle. 第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯，而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。我觉得我可以搞定。 But I didnt handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. 但是我没有搞定。Alex不断地讲有趣的事情，而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的，很自然地就陷入了附和的状态。 Thirtys the new 20, Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time. Alex说：“30岁是一个新的20岁”。没错，我告诉她“你是对的”。工作还早，结婚还早，生孩子还早，甚至死亡也早着呢。像Alex和我这样20多岁的人，什么都没有但时间多的是。 But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, Sure, shes dating down, shes sleeping with a knucklehead, but its not like shes going to marry the guy. And then my supervisor said, Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alexs marriage is before she has one. 但不久之后，我的导师就要我向Alex的感情生活施压。我反驳说：“当然她现在正在和别人交往，她现在和一个傻瓜男生睡觉，但看样子她不会和他结婚的。” 而我的导师说：“不着急，她也许会和下一个结婚。但修复Alex婚姻的最好时期是她还没拥有婚姻的时期。” Thats what psychologists call an Aha! moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didnt make Alexs 20s a developmental downtime. 这就是心理学家说的“顿悟时刻”。正是那个时候我意识到，30岁不是一个新的20岁。的确，和以前的人相比，现