On Being a Dad原来这就是爸爸心情.doc

On Being a Dad原来这就是爸爸心情 　　Being a dad is messy1） ... not just the many spills and broken dishes and dirty kitchens and finger-painted walls you have to clean up， but messy because nothing ever goes as planned. Itapos；s messy because you start out with the best of intentions， hoping to be super dad and loving and perfect， and then it all goes to hell. Things get said， tempers flare2）， feelings get hurt， you get mad at each other. Kids never turn out as planned， and neither does your life. You hope for one thing， and get a wonderful mess in return. Being a father is about uncertainty. You create a kid， and you are flooded with uncertainty， because you donapos；t know how to do any of this. You donapos；t know how your kids will turn out， and you donapos；t know what the hell youapos；re doing. All of a sudden， youapos；re up to bat3）， and the pressure is on you， not just to provide， not just to keep a fragile human being alive， but to be their role model， to shape them， to make them happy. And none of it comes with a manual4）. They have problems， like a kid teased them at school， or bullied them， theyapos；re struggling with motivation or boredom or fitting in ... and you donapos；t know how to deal with any of it. You try your best， but in the end you donapos；t know. Itapos；s filled with uncertainty. This uncertainty can be terrifying. Youapos；re not just playing a video game here， these are real lives youapos；ve been given to steward5）. Your heart is flooded with the fear of uncertainty， and you donapos；t admit to yourself that youapos；re scared. So how do you make it through this uncertainty？ The dad way is to try to find certainty： come up with a solution， fix things， create a system， teach them a method， create lists， be on top of6） it. This is all an illusion， because even after your systems and methods， you still donapos；t know crap. Itapos；s still uncertain. The only way through uncertainty is love. Being a dad is about uncertainty， but itapos