老友记第一季第一集台词.docx

老友记第一集[Scene:?Central?Perk,?Chandler,?Joey,?Phoebe,?and?Monica?arethere.]Monica:?Theres?nothing?to?tell!?Hes?just?some?guy?I?work?with!Joey:?Cmon,?youre?going?out?with?the?guy!?Theres?gotta?be?something?wrong?with?him!Chandler:?All?right?Joey,?be?nice.?So?does?he?have?a?hump??A?hump?and?a?hairpiece?Phoebe:?Wait,?does?he?eat?chalk?(They?all?stare,?bemused.)Phoebe:?Just, cause,?I?dont?want?her?to?go?through?what?I?went?through?with?Carl-?oh!Monica:?Okay,?everybody?relax.?This?is?not?even?a?date.?Its?just?two?people?going?out?to?dinnerand-?not?having?sex.Chandler:?Sounds?like?a?date?to?me.[Time?Lapse]Chandler:?Alright,?so?Im?back?in?high?school,?Im?standing?in?the?middle?of?the?cafeteria,?and?Irealize?I?am?totally?naked.All:?Oh,?yeah.?Had?that?dream.Chandler:?Then?I?look?down,?and?I?realize?theres?a?phone...?there.Joey:?Instead?of...?Chandler:?Thats?right.Joey:?Never?had?that?dream.Phoebe:?No.Chandler:?All?of?a?sudden,?the?phone?starts?to?ring.?Now?I?dont?know?what?to?do,?everybodystarts?looking?at?me.?Monica:?And?they?werent?looking?at?you?before?!Chandler:?Finally,?I?figure?Id?better?answer?it,?and?it?turns?out?its?my?mother,?which?is?very-veryweird,?because-?she?never?calls?me![Time?Lapse,?Ross?has?entered.]Ross: (mortified)?Hi.Joey:?This?guy?says?hello,?I?wanna?kill?myself.Monica:?Are?you?okay,?sweetie?Ross:?I?just?feel?like?someone?reached?down?my?throat,?grabbed?my?small?intestine,?pulled?it?out?ofmy?mouth?and?tied?it?around?my?neck...Chandler:?Cookie?Monica: (explaining?to?the?others)?Carol?moved?her?stuff?out?today.?Joey:?Ohh.Monica: (to?Ross)?Let?me?get?you?some?coffee.Ross:?Thanks.Phoebe:?Ooh!?Oh! (She?starts?to?pluck?at?the?air?just?in?front?of?Ross.)Ross:?No,?no?dont!?Stop?cleansing?my?aura!?No,?just?leave?my?aura?alone,?okay?Phoebe:?Fine!?Be?murky!Ross:?Ill?be?fine,?alright??Really,?everyone.?I?hope?shell?be?very?happy.Monica:?No?you?dont.Ross:?No?I?dont,?to?hell?with?her,?she?left?me!Joey:?And?you?never?knew?she?was?a?lesbian...Ross:?No!!?Okay?!?Why?does?