FRIENDS老友记第一季01-10集剧本.doc

101 ? Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with! Cmon, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wrong with him! ? All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? ? Wait, does he eat chalk? ? Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh! ? Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. ? Sounds like a date to me. ? Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone... there. ? - Instead of...?- Thats right.- Never had that dream./No. All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. ? Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. And they werent looking at you before?! ? Finally, I figure Id better answer it, ? and it turns out its my mother, ? which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! ? Hi. ? This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. ? Are you okay, sweetie? I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Cookie? ? Carol moved her stuff out today. - Let me get you some coffee.- Thanks. ? No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Fine! Be murky! Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy. - No you dont.- No I dont, to hell with her, she left me! ? And you never knew she was a lesbian... ? No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know? ? Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... ? Did I say that out loud? ? I told mom and dad last night,they seemed to take it pretty well. Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., Ill never have grandchildren, Ill never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number? ? Sorry. Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain