女性“下嫁”的好处(英汉).doc

The Upside Of Marrying Down 女性“下嫁”的好处 Today, a successful single woman who falls for a man making less money than she does or not sharing her career ambition may face not-so-subtle disapproval from friends and family. One patient of mine reported being told, Im surprised you havent found someone who is more your equal. Another felt insulted when a trusted friend asked, Are you sure you wouldnt be happier with a man who is making more money than you? 如今，成功单身女性爱上一位挣得比自己少或不能分担其事业进取心的男人可能会遭到来自亲朋好友的明确反对。我的一位患者据称就曾被这样告知：“你没能找到一位跟你更相配的人，我感到很惊讶。”另一位则在其可信赖的朋友这样发问时感到受了侮辱：“你确定跟挣得比你多的男人在一起不会更幸福吗？” These women were in love with solid, supportive guys who shared their values -- men who werent driven by money. They dreaded the concerned whispers from friends or family who persisted in believing that they were marrying down. 这些女性都跟那些踏实可靠、能给予自己支持并与自己持有相同价值观的男性相爱了——他们爱上她们，不是因为钱。这些女性害怕听到来自朋友或家人关切的窃窃私语，那些亲朋好友坚信她们是在“下嫁”。 As a couples therapist, the notion of marrying down strikes me as impossibly antiquated. Its right out of the Downton Abbey era, when suitable marriages were entirely a matter of matching people according to social class and fortune -- hence the panic when Lord Granthams youngest daughter marries the familys Irish chauffeur. 作为一名婚姻治疗师，有关下嫁的说法让我觉得难以置信地过时。那完全是《唐顿庄园》(Downton Abbey)时代的产物。在那样的年代，合适的婚姻完全是根据双方的社会地位和身家财富而将人们凑配在一起——因此，格兰瑟姆勋爵(Lord Grantham)才会因为小女儿嫁给了家里的爱尔兰司机而痛苦不已。 The notion that women should marry up endured well past the heyday of the English gentry, and the most successful breadwinners were considered the most desirable mates. Well into the 20th century, relatively few high-paying jobs were available to women, so for the most part, women went to college to get their M.R.S., or maybe to land the kind of work that would put them near the right professional men. 女性应该“高攀”的观念在经历了英国乡绅贵族的鼎盛时期后依然深入人心，最成功的养家者会被视为最令人满意的伴侣。在进入20世纪很久以后，提供给女性的高薪工作相对来说仍比较少，所以大多数情况下，女性读大学是为了在学校结识男性然后嫁为人妇，或者是为了在毕业后能找到一份可以使自己能接近合适职场男性的工作。 Today, more women than men are graduating from college