老友记第一季01剧本.docx

《Friends》剧本（第一季）101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with!没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！Joey: Cmon, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wrong with him!少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！Chandler: All right Joey, be nice.? So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?打住，乔伊，最下留德。他驼背？即驼背又戴假发？Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?慢着，他吃粉笔吗？(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.各位别急，这不算是约会。我们不过是出去一起吃晚餐，而不是做爱。Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.听起来像是说我的约会。[Time Lapse]Chandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然发现自己全身赤裸。All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.我做过那样的梦。Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone... there.我低头一看，看见有一支电话……在那儿。Joey: Instead of...?而不是……？Chandler: Thats right.没错。Joey: Never had that dream.我没做过那样的梦Phoebe: No.没有Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. 那支电话突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。Monica: And they werent looking at you before?!他们以前不看你吗？Chandler: Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns out its my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]Ross: (mortified) Hi.嗨Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?你还好吧？Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙抓起我的肠子，从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖子上……Chandler: Cookie?要饼干吗？Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. 卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了Joey: Ohh.Monic