当玩笑过了火.doc

When Humor Hurts 当玩笑过了火 By Donna Doyon 胡德丽 译 三条辣椒 “I was only joking,” I told my 11-year-old son. “It wasn’t funny,” he said. His blue eyes looked 1)moist. “You hurt my feelings.” And then I remembered all the times people have hurt my feelings, claimed they were joking, and told me (1) not to take things so personally. Some of these teasing comments were made during my childhood, yet the hurt still 2)lingers to this day. For instance, my father always 3)picked on me for my lack of cooking abilities. I never cared to learn to cook as a child. I knew how to make peanut butter sandwiches, toast, and plain 4)spaghetti (I don’t like sauce). My sister was the one who enjoyed helping my mother in the kitchen. Or at least I 5)assumed she enjoyed it. She helped, I didn’t have to, and it worked for me. But when I did cook something for myself, my father would make comments. “Well, look at that,” he’d say. “You didn’t (2) burn the water for the spaghetti today,” “You better find a husband that can cook or he’ll 6)starve to death,” or “Are you sure that’s safe to eat?” He was only joking, of course. The 7)ironic thing is that my father has never eaten anything I’ve cooked. The one time I prepared a meal for my parents, he chose not to eat it. That hurt too. Yet every time I cook a meal, his words 8)haunt me. I don’t invite people over for dinner because I worry that they will leave hungry and laughing at me. The one or two times a year that we do have guests, I start each meal with an apology. I should know better! I claim to be 9)enlightened in the field of self-development, acceptance and respect. I help others recognize and appreciate their unique talents. I help others get past the hurtful comments that keep them from moving forward in their lives. Yet, here I am, unable to get past the hurtful words my father 10)spewed at me. Because he was only joking. We have all experienced teasing in our lives. Most days it is fun and puts a smile on our faces. But sometimes, the teas