双关语范例.doc

Puns /c/jokes-puns.html Three tomatoes are walking down the street, a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. The baby tomato is lagging behind the poppa and momma tomato. The poppa tomato gets mad, goes over to the momma tomato and stamps on him -- (STAMPS on the ground) -- and says: catch up. There once was a very large lady in our town. She wore a dress size 16. I knew her when she was young, but she had a much smaller size. Why do you think she is now wearing a size 16? I guess she just 8 + 8 (ate and ate). Submitted by David Trimingham A man wanting to borrow another mans newspaper asks, Are you finishe(d)? The other man replies, No, Im Norwegian. Submitted by Aleksander Eriksen I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack! All that I said was Hi Jack, but very loud. Submitted by Carcellis family A woman was driving in her car on a narrow road. She was knitting at the same time, so she was driving very slowly. A man came up from behind and he wanted to pass her. He opened the window and yelled, Pull over! Pull over! The lady yelled back, No, its a sweater! Submitted by: Britt Bolving Hansen Two friends meet and one of them says:Ive taught my dog how to speak English! Thats impossible, says the other man.Dogs dont speak! Its true! Ill show you. He turns to his dog, Hows the situation in England? The dog answers: Rough, rough. Submitted by: Alexandra Pedro One day an English grammar teacher was looking ill. A student asked, Whats the matter? Tense, answered the teacher, describing how he felt. The student paused, then continued, What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter... ? Submitted by: Fredric Teacher: Rumiko, be careful your purse is open. Someone might take your money! Rumiko: Oh, no. I left it open so I can get more money. Teacher: How can you get more money? Rumiko: The weather report said we would have some change in our weather! Submitted by W