水资源 改过.doc

晨哥说：占用你的休息时间真是不好意思，第一篇有点迟，麻烦董君同学多改点，多写点建议哈。。。。。。。他日必有重谢 As we can see from the two picture ,great changes will have taken place in the shortage of water resource in the short future. In today’s picture, there is a man holding a umbrella to avoid a huge number of rain drops on the green lawn. While in tomorrows picture, there becomes only one rain drop catched crazily by the man on the dry and cracking land . As far as I am concerned, the shortage of water resource demonstrated in the above pictures is a worrisome problem all the time. Some people can’t see it’s importance and abuse water without a limit .what’s worse, with the fast developing of modern industries, the larger damage is produced by some factories for the water resource with the lake of law. To prevent such undesirable situation from happening，we should spare no efforts in protecting water resource. Laws should be enforced to limit the huge excess use of water .only by these way can we will bring a brighter future . 水资源缺乏通篇都是the shortage of water resources.要多变，尽量不重复。可以说the lack of water, water scarcity，要丰富词汇 先不说思想怎么样，语法错误还比较多，最简单的单复数，a/an。你写作的时候每写一句话就检查一下主谓宾有没有，先写主谓宾，再填从句。句子之间用连接词，连接词是并列关系？转折？还是递进关系？要有逻辑。 这是我写的第一段，我觉得比你的通顺一点点，哈哈，你随便瞅瞅。 As it is shown in the picture of today, there is a man holding an umbrella and running on the grass land to protect himself from (being attacked by) the heavy rain. (However, the other picture of tomorrow is quite different.) By contrast, a quite different situation is presented in the picture of tomorrow. The same person has folded his umbrella looked like a bowl to collect the only left rain which is extremely little. It can be also clearly seen that the thick grass which was once beneath the man has gone forever and has been completely displaced by the horrible dry land. 括号里的那句话虽然简单，但我觉得挺地道，也是长短句结合。 晨哥，要先把句子