学习英语笑话.doc

某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why? The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more. 一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人，谁更满足？为什么？ 当然是有六个孩子的那个，因为有600万美元那个还想要得更多。 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining（毗连的） shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem（故意的伤害罪，蓄意的破坏） to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains! The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts! The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE. 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：大减价!特便宜! 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：大砍价!大折扣! 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：入口处。Excuse for Speeding 　 Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over. Why on earth were you driving so fast? the policeman yelled. Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident! 赶紧到达那里 哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。 “你们为什么开那么快？”警官喊道。 “我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。” The formula for water Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the? Blonde: HIJKLMNO!! Teacher: What are you talking about? Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O! 水的分子式 老师：水的分子式是什么？ 花瓶：HIJKLMNO！！ 老师：你在说什么？ 花瓶：昨天你不是说H to O吗？ Who was the first man A teacher said to her class： “Who was the first man?” “George Washington，”a little boy shouted promptly． “How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently． “Because，”said the little boy，“he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen．” But at this point a larger boy held up his hand． “Well，” said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man？” “I dont know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasnt Georg