压力与情绪管理培训579668107.ppt

Westerns expect friends to be independent. Why? It’s because their friendship is mostly a matter of providing emotional support and spending time together, so they do not feel comfortable in a relationship in which one person is giving more and the other is dependent on what is giving. A westerner will respond to a friend’s trouble by asking “What do you want to do?” The idea is to help the friend to think out the problem and discover the solution he or she really wants and then to support the solution. Chinese friends give each other more concrete help. A Chinese will use personal connections to help a friend get something hard to obtain. They give each other money and might help each other out financially over a long time. Chinese usually expect more from their friends. In the West, you can certainly ask a friend to do something with you, but you recognize that your friend may say no, if he or she gives you as reason. You would not expect a friend to drop everything to respond to a non-urgent need such as shopping. Nor would you expect a friend to recognize and respond to your wishes without stating them. A friend in China is someone who offers help without waiting to be asked. There are few limits to what you can expect from a friend. You can feel free to tell your friend what he or she can or should do or help or please you. Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there. * 有一个年轻人看破红尘了，每天啥也不干，懒洋洋地坐在树底下晒太阳，有一个智者问，年轻人，这么大好的时光，你怎么不去赚钱？年轻人说，没意思，赚了钱还得花没。智者问，你怎么不结婚？年轻人说，没劲，弄不好还得离婚。智者说，你怎么不交朋友？年轻人说，每意思，交了朋友弄不好会反目成仇。智者给年轻人一根绳子说，干脆你上吊吧，反正也得死，还不如现在死了算了。年轻人说，我不想死。智者说，生命是一个过程，不是一个结果。年轻人翻然醒悟，这就叫一句话点醒梦中人。 “一句话点醒梦中人” * 怎么享受生命这个过程呢？ 把注意力放在积极的事情上。 学会体会过程，有的人就找最讨厌的地方去体会，这个世界总会有阴暗面，一缕阳光从天上照下来的时候，总有照不到的地方。 如果你的眼睛只盯在黑暗处，抱怨世界黑暗，那是你自己的选择。 * 第三个工具：活在当下 什么是活在当下？ 禅师回答，吃饭就是吃饭，睡觉就是睡觉，这就叫活在当下。 重要的事情就是现在你做的事情，最重要的人就是现在和你一起做事情的