Conan+OBrien+毕业致辞，绝了！（邱邱推荐）.docVIP

学学美国著名脱口秀主持人柯南·奥布莱恩的口才吧。 以下是他在2011年达特茅斯学院毕业致辞。 睿智与幽默， 这是我喜欢他节目的原因。 邱政政 以下是演讲全文（中文配合视频字幕观看）： HYPERLINK /programs/view/L8OFYnjVpQA/ /programs/view/L8OFYnjVpQA/ Ive been living in Los Angeles for two years, and Ive never been this cold in my life. I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves. Anybody. Im serious. I have the cash. Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today. Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011. Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma. That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. Im talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg. Incidentally, speaking of Mr. Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room. My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair. For example, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving this weekend. That was great. And Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight. Deal with it. Another example that life is not fair: if it does rain, the powerful rich people on stage get the tent. Deal with it. I would like to thank President Kim for inviting me here today. After my phone call with President Kim, I decided to find out a little bit about the man. He goes by President Kim and Dr. Kim. To his friends, hes Jim Kim, J to the K, Special K, JK Rowling, the Just Kidding Kimster, and most puzzlin