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搞笑英语话剧剧本 《荆轲刺秦王》
旁白(Aside ) / 介绍(Introduction): Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy, country
there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most
famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qin, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want
to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹(上, 掏出镜子梳头, 做自恋状): Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the
world? (画外音: It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!(而对观众) I’m Prince Dan, the
magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel lie
will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? ( 向幕里大叫)Where is my
minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.
太子丹: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful 、graceful 、
handsome 、charming 、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan” !
阿三: Sure, honey ! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ (作杀状)
太子: Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent !(二十一世纪
最需要的是什么, 人才!然后拍阿三肩膀, 做赞许状) Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三: After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is
Mr Jingke. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO 1 killer of the world.
太子: Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三: Yes.
Action II
( 《十面埋伏》中刘德华金成武决斗时的音乐)
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Of course!耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前來
“人在江湖漂啊, 哪有不挨刀啊, 一刀砍死你啊, 两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状: What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don’t need any reason to win a person. Don’t we? Do we?(贏一个人需要理由么, 不需
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