初一英文小笑话故事欣赏.docxVIP

初一英文小笑话故事欣赏 A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didnt pay for your sandwich! The panda yells back at the bartender, Hey, Im a PANDA! Look it up! The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves. George knocked on the door of his friends house. When his friends mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ” “ No,” said the mother, “its too cold. ” “ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ” 乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗? ” “ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ” “ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗? In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: Talking Dog for Sale. He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. You talk? he asks. Yep, the mutt replies. So, whats your story? The mutt looks up and says, Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasnt getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now Im justretired. The guy is amazed. H