高考英语写作提升课堂--续写指导：以小说Waiting for Goldie来剖析刻画心里的六个维度.docx

续写指导：以小说Waiting for Goldie来剖析刻画心里的六个维度 作家到底怎么做到通过极其简洁的语言来激发读者的共鸣？ 从心里刻画角度来审视小说的每一句话，最终得出六个维度： 一、内心的语言和声音 二、内心的困惑和反问 三、多重虚拟的想象 四、身体动作和心理或环境的结合 五、由视觉、决策等推进心理活动 六、内心的决定来升华主题 一、内心的语言和声音 类似汉语诗歌中的一咏三叹修辞，主人公重复说一句话来表达自己的渴望、绝望等，本文里这句话足够的短，凸显内心的焦灼，具有很强的代入感。而这句话里的说的动词不一定是said,小说这样展示： ‘Come on, Goldie. Come on, Goldie. Come on, Goldie!’ That’s me, calling Goldeneye back home. Calm down, Danny! I tell myself. Come on, Goldie. I cant stop saying that. Ill get you. Ill get you, falcons! I shout up to the nest. My voice doesnt sound like my voice 具体如下： 1. ‘Come on, Goldie. Come on, Goldie. Come on, Goldie!’ That’s me, calling Goldeneye back home. 2. Calm down, Danny! I tell myself. Thats what Grandad would have said: Calm down, Danny. Calm down, son! But its hard to be calm. 3. Come on, Goldie. I cant stop saying that. Ive been whispering it ever since I woke up, like a magic spell. Come on, Goldie, come on, Goldie. But it cant be a very good spell. Its not working. Its not bringing Goldie back home. 4. My eyes are all blurry with tears. Ill get you. Ill get you, falcons! I shout up to the nest. My voice doesnt sound like my voice. It sounds like a growling, angry bear. 我们或许都有这个经历，当我们遗失很重要的物件的时候，我们都会不断安慰自己：我一定会找到；老天保佑；你在哪，你在哪，拜托你快快出现。或者不断自责：我好笨，我为什么这么粗心呢，我就是头猪…… 本文的主人公不就是这样吗？他反复呼唤Goldie的出现，反复安慰自己安静下来，同时因为失望把自己的恨迁移到老鹰身上，发誓要把它消灭掉。 二、内心的困惑和反问 内心的疑问往往是无解的，因为它们近似于自言自语。具体说来，就是由无奈或绝望引发的困惑或反问。 例子如下： 1. I knew hed ask me that question. I bet hes been thinking about it all day. What am I going to tell him? My minds all confused. Its going round, whirr, whirr, like a washing machine on fast spin. 2. What am I going to do? I want my Grandad to get better. I want him to come out of hospital. But when he comes out hell come straight to his pigeon loft to see Goldie. Wheres my champion racer? hell ask me. You said she was all right! You said she won the race! Then what am I going to tell him? 3.Whats happened to Goldie? I ask the other pigeons on the roof of the loft. But theyre no help. They jus