英语舞台剧剧本,五到十分钟.docx

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） ——金科Wanders every five miles 焦仲卿 Johnny(J for shor刘t)兰芝 Lunch(L for short) 焦母 Johnny’s mother(JM for shor刘t)母Lunch’smother(LM for short) 太守之子 Mayor ’s son(MS for shor强t) 盗 Burglars(AB and C) Prologue (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J: Everybody says tIh’atm hen peckebdu,t in factI,’m as strong as a wife is WuSong. 小ti声ge)rw,h(ile my (指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood. She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender tha me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! As you see , people live around here all said that I am not a man. Yes, I am not a man, I am a handsome man手.(撩头发做臭美状) (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中 J) My God! Who can help me?下( ) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM 作窃听状) JM( 拄拐棍上):I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’sup mum? JM: I’ve told you again and again that you should call mem“y most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-lianw-”. L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-lianw-,what’sup（? 情愿） 口气很不 JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… L: But…… JM:Never interrupt me! L: Never interrupt （me手! 势） Since I married your son, that terribl（e 语Jo气hn重ny 点头）, I have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing. I have （ra掰is手ed指头 数） ten soft hous and sof pigs and ducks and chicken and…… JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh, you want a grandson,don’t you开?(始解围裙)Go and ask your sonI.’m leavin扯g!下( 脸上,下) 围裙,扔在 JM 的 Act2 (LM 坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L: Mum, I’m back! LM: （惊讶睁大眼） You are back? Why? What happened? L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mo–tihne-rlaw（. 拳在胸前） 怨愤抱 LM( 惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神 情):See!（手指向兰芝）I have already told you!（咳嗽两声） When you insisted on marrying that terrible J（oh咳nn）y,I told you that he is